You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
