Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize