I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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