i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
