And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
this boner is exhausting
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
