he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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