chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
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Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
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She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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