i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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