she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
