her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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