This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
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does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
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I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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