This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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