I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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