this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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