what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
vagina is talking i cant
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
