So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
