I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
