:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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