so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
organizing the empties. That sober.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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