I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
