Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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