Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
