OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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