You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
