Dual....:-)
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
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I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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