So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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