i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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