In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
