why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
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It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
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CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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