Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.

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  (816): Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm. http://tfl.nu/bk02
  Replies (6) Good night (2260) Bad night (1084)
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  (631): View more from New York

  we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.

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  (631): we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die. http://tfl.nu/91t8
  Replies (23) Good night (653) Bad night (3898)
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  (760): View more from California

  my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...

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  (760): my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg... http://tfl.nu/gr75
  Replies (33) Good night (8070) Bad night (890)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.

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  (864): We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us. http://tfl.nu/xmtc
  Replies (20) Good night (1080) Bad night (6155)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day

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  (502): Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day http://tfl.nu/ab75
  Replies (13) Good night (1072) Bad night (4859)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.

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  (813): Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again. http://tfl.nu/0xdw
  Replies (14) Good night (807) Bad night (4331)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  As long as you're not dating white guys again.

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  (801): As long as you're not dating white guys again. http://tfl.nu/e0lw
  Replies (111) Good night (2031) Bad night (4414)
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  (310): View more from California

  I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame

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  (310): I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame http://tfl.nu/qjff
  Replies (14) Good night (3422) Bad night (1132)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?

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  (615): His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win? http://tfl.nu/uubh
  Replies (11) Good night (2308) Bad night (855)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue

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  (541): I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue http://tfl.nu/me08
  Replies (7) Good night (987) Bad night (1309)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.

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  (413): Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion. http://tfl.nu/ppkx
  Replies (7) Good night (2373) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again

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  (503): i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again http://tfl.nu/nar2
  Replies (5) Good night (802) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm

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  (603): 100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm http://tfl.nu/mujv
  Replies (1) Good night (867) Bad night (306)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons

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  (562): The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons http://tfl.nu/bjub
  Replies (0) Good night (448) Bad night (273)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.

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  (210): just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened. http://tfl.nu/ruvq
  Replies (1) Good night (578) Bad night (175)

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