Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??