ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"