dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
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For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?