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• (313): View more from Michigan

  I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was

  (734): View more from Michigan

  you're 26.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo

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• (315): View more from New York

  That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (519): View more from Ontario

  i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep

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• (916): View more from California

  So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?

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• (310): View more from California

  I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity

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• (469): View more from Texas

  I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry

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• (807): View more from Ontario

  I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?

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• (917): View more from New York City

  Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.

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