We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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