I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
