So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
