Did you just see the Batmobile???
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
