very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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