apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
