At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
