the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
my liver is dry heaving
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
