Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
