so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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