how can u be prego again
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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