"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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