Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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