well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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