hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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