It's like God shit irony all over that family
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
