There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
