New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
