Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
