did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
We need to rekindle our bromance
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
