all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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