I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
