i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I need a beard to bite.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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