Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
