loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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