she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize