i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I didn't notice because vodka
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
