Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
