i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
