i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
this just has baby written all over it
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
