my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
