Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Cover your peen. We're going out.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
