out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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